How to Start Creating Your Wedding Guest List

Although the wedding is supposed to be all about the couple in practical terms, I think it is largely about the guests. These people are your closest friends. The family you stay in touch with, but wish you saw more often. The neighbors that have walked you across the street and provided after-school snacks for years. Since Tyler and I have been together for 5 ½ years, we have made a lot of friends and they are almost as excited for us as we are. It’s funny how many people have told me that.

This might be one of the most daunting tasks of planning a wedding, so I wanted to provide you with how I did it and how we are still working through it. At first it’s fun naming all the people you want to invite and reminiscing over the good times you had with them. Then you realize you have to cut many of these wonderful people.

Note: You will adjust your guest list throughout your entire planning process as people let you know if they can or can’t make it. This is also the fastest way to cut your budget. Less people = less food, less centerpieces, less favors, etc.

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Here are the beginning steps we took:

1. Bust out your Excel sheet again. This will make it much easier to add/remove/change people as time goes on. If you don’t want to handwrite everything, you can use the mail merge feature in Word to import all of your contacts.
   • Include these columns: names, #, address, city, state, zip code, save-the-date (or STD haha), invite, and RSVP:
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2. We have 3 categories: family, friends, and maybe.  To us, family was extremely important, so they are the top priority, along with our bridal party. If you are closer with friends than family, then make them the priority. On the first round, add as many people as you can think of and later you will have to cut some people.
   
3. List all of your family – bride and groom side. Don’t hold back. Invite Aunt Trudi on his mom’s side even if you have never met her. (Yes, he really has an Aunt Trudi and I got in trouble for not having her on the first round).
4. List all of your friends – bride and groom side. Add as many people as you want because you will have to remove some anyway.
5. Now, create a cell on the right side of your list to add up all the totals. How many family, friends, and total people did you invite? (See a snapshot of mine below). Here’s a tutorial of how to add up numbers.
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6. If you have your venue picked out, compare the number of people on your guest list to the maximum occupancy of the venue. Now you know the number of people to cut.
7. Let’s say you have 100 people to cut. For now, just move the people you might not invite to a “Maybe” section in your spreadsheet below your list of friends.
8. I recommend sending this list to your parents so they can review it and make sure you didn’t forget someone really important. If you are uncomfortable with them being so involved, don’t show them. I forgot a few people, so I was glad I did. Keep in mind, they will probably want to add some of their friends and you may need to tell them no. That’s okay – it’s your wedding.
9. Make sure you save your work! You will be adjusting this list as time goes on.

Do you have any tips to make this process easier or more effective? I’d love to hear them in the comments section!

Related articles

• Creating a Wedding Guest List – Project Wedding (projectwedding.com)
• Should I invite plus-ones? – Project Wedding (projectwedding.com)

Giving back on your big day? Let your guests know with Charity Wedding Favor Cards from The Knot Wedding Shop.

Wedding Dress Shopping: Finding “The One” on Day One

I’m not a big shopper. I like to buy things for myself every once in awhile, but I’ve never enjoyed all day shopping sprees or browsing around the mall. Wedding dress shopping was a little different story. I was SOOOO excited to go!

I made an appointment at our local bridal shop, The Wedding Bell. They book in two hour appointments and you get to bring four people. I brought my mom, my soon-to-be-mother-in-law, best friend since 2nd grade, and a college friend. Thera, my bridal consultant, was excellent.

First, Thera had me try on four dresses to know what style I liked. Tip: wear a strapless bra and full coverage underwear (like boy shorts) because you’ll be changing in to many dresses. Originally, I wanted a fit-and-flare, but I learned there were multiple cuts of fit-and-flare. My favorite wedding dress was an A-line fit-and-flare. I have always loved lace and vintage styles. And I hate ball gowns. It was fun to try one on, but I felt ridiculous. With each dress I tried, Thera asked me what I liked and didn’t like in order to find a better match in the next dress.

I tried the fifth wedding dress on in the fitting room and fell in love. I was looking at each dress with a critical eye and logical mind. My mothers and friends though, were more emotional. I walked out of the fitting room, stood on the pedestal, and admired the dress. Then, I heard some sniffling and turned around to see everyone crying! I didn’t expect to see that! Not going to lie, it was a great feeling seeing my closet women so involved and excited about it. That’s when I knew I found the right dress. I loved it and the four women confirmed it.

After about 2 hours of shopping, four of us went to lunch and I thought about the dress. We talked about it and discussed other things, but the whole time I kept thinking how badly I wanted that dress. My mother-in-law surprised us by purchasing mimosas to celebrate the occasion. We walked back to the shop after lunch and I bought it. I couldn’t have been happier! The price was right in my budget. Actually, she didn’t have me try on anything that wasn’t in my budget, which was great.

Some women shop at multiple places to ensure the right decision. For me, I felt like I knew it was the perfect dress. I’m sure if I shopped other places I would have found other dresses I liked, but I doubt they’d be that much better than this one and still be in my budget. I think with more shopping, I’d actually be more overwhelmed.

Related articles

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Choosing Your Wedding Party

At this point in our lives, Tyler and I have made a lot of friends. We grew up in the same small town, so naturally we have some of the same friends. After high school, I got my undergrad degree at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, WA and then my MBA at Willamette University in Salem, OR. I met amazing people at both schools and many of these people are still really good friends. Tyler went to college for a year and then became a lineman apprentice. He is more outgoing than I am and has made many friends  as well.

So far, I have been a bridesmaid for 2 of my cousins, my sister-in-law, a high school friend, a college friend, and the maid-of-honor for another high school friend. Before we were engaged I joked that I didn’t want to get engaged until I had been in 27 weddings so I could bridesmaids like Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses. Realistically, I was not going to wait for 21 more weddings!

With a lot of friends from different stages of life and a big family, it’s hard to narrow down just a few people. Tyler, my fiance, was in a similar situation so we decided to have 10 people each! Some people think we are crazy, but I know three women who each had 8 bridesmaids.

Here’s my lineup of girls from different times in my life:

Karissa, step-sister that I’ve known since she was born  |  Maid-of-Honor

Clare, Tyler’s sister + my friend of 10 years  |  Bridesmaid

Katriina, friend since 2nd grade & always made me feel like part of the family  |  Bridesmaid

Karisa, friend who I did every school activity/sport with  |  Bridesmaid

Taryn, friend since 5th grade who is my opposite |  Bridesmaid

Whitney, friend since 5th grade who I spent almost every weekend with junior year of high school   |  Bridesmaid

Dena, friend from PLU + Tyler’s roomie of 3 years + my roomie of 1 year  |  Bridesmaid

Nicole, friend from PLU + roomie of two years + Tyler’s friend’s girlfriend  |  Bridesmaid

Hannah, friend from PLU + RA at PLU  |  Bridesmaid

Jamie, friend from Willamette University + roomie of 2 years  |  Bridesmaid

There’s no magic number for a wedding party and there’s no number too many. Just do what you want! After all, it’s your day. Basically, I don’t care if people think we are crazy for having 10 each. More people to celebrate and help with the wedding. 🙂

I use www.theknot.com for their checklists, articles, and website to help make wedding planning easier:

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